It is with great gratitude that I can write the above title and be thrilled that our family and Ryan can celebrate this terrific milestone - 28 years after he, a little two year old boy, was diagnosed with a very tough leukemia diagnosis (10/17/1996). Not a day goes by that I don't think about all the folks that helped us get to today, and everyday. If you have been a part of our tribe, even meeting us yesterday, WE THANK YOU!
Nothing was easy about the arduous journey, either individually, or as a family. But...we had doctors, nurses, family, friends and neighbors who cared deeply for a youngster and his family. I can never underestimate all the help and prayers of good tidings to come after many frightening years. As I write this post at 9:10 pm - Thursday, 28 years ago at this same time, and on a Thursday, Ryan coded and was saved by the amazing PICU team at Georgetown University Hospital due to internal bleeding (took the rest of the night). We were scared silly. We had no clue what was happening to our sweet two year old boy, but we had to radically accept what was to come, and boy, did we have to!
A Canadian writing friend who now lives in Austrailia, Louise Karch, shared this article in my writing group, Purple Space. It was written by Alisyn Camerota, a CNN reporter, who wrote an essay regarding 5 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Friend. Grieving does not have to pertain to death and dying as we found out all those years ago. Grief can be many things to many people. The following paragraph sums up nicely with the idea of radical acceptance (also from the Stoics) that I wanted to share:
Instead of trying to untangle grief from injustice, I’ve started the practice of radical acceptance. This concept was introduced to my husband and me by our grief counselor immediately after his diagnosis. It goes something like this: Some things in life are glorious, and some things suck. Try to accept life on its own terms and deal with the hand you’re dealt. Radical acceptance has been a game-changer for me and how I tackle the tough stuff. Instead of asking, “Why me?” or “How can life be so unfair?” I say, “This is what I’m dealing with. What’s the best way forward?”
Bill and I were practicing radical acceptance before it was a thing. We just had to carry on with our lives and our sanity in check. Not long after the acceptance of our lot in life, so to speak, we began to wonder on how to give back to others in the same boat. We wanted to talk to other parents and eventually found our tribe(s) to do just that. Today, we know it as Post Tramautic Growth - and Gains.
So, cheers to Ryan and our family and anyone who made any effort at all through almost three decades of 'taking care of us.' We all did a lot of Manufacturing Sunshine so we could share days like these.
It Takes a Village - African Proverb
bSoleille!
Terri
Photos: Ryan the Sommelier (wine tasting event); Ryan and Bill on Olivia & Bo's Wedding; Ryan and me with "Manufacturing Sunshine Quilt;" Ryan in October 1996; Ryan & Olivia at the NHL Winter Classic and Ryan standing outside of the Polynesien Hotel at Disney World.
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